The 4 Agreements

The chill is in the air already and part of me is very excited about pulling on a cozy sweatshirt and my favorite jeans with my socks and sneakers. It was so crazy hot for most of the summer, that I hardly had the chance to wear anything much more than tank tops, shorts and flip flops. The other part of me is crying for summer warmth to return.  As long as the sun keeps shining bright through my windows, I can most certainly deal with the cool weather.  

In my house, we now have the first week of school under our belt.  Emma, once again,  loves her teacher and came home excited about the new school year.  Seeing her happy and excited, puts my mind at ease.  As it is every year, the transition back to school is most definitely, without a doubt, much harder for me than it is for Emma.  Yes, she is in the fourth grade now, and yes, I still miss her company when she goes to school everyday.  I loved the days of preschool, when she would only go to school a few days, for just a few hours.  Call me sappy or sentimental or whatever you will but, I put my heart and soul into raising this sweet, and amazing young lady.  She and I have such a tight bond that I feel there is a part of me missing when she isn't around.  I've had to adjust to her absence even more since when she spends time with her dad, I obviously do not join them. I do silly things like close her bedroom door when she is gone overnight.  It sounds ridiculous but, doing so, makes it feel as if she is actually sleeping in her room as usual.  Besides for my snoring dog, my house gets awfully quiet sometimes.  I know, most of you that have several children, must feel quite the opposite as I do.  You must wish for more quiet times!  I believe that everyone seeks their own balance of these things.  For me, that balance seems to change sometimes.  Depending on what is going on in life at the time, I may or may not need more quiet or more conversation and people around me.  Again.... everyone is different. 

Today, when I sat down to write, I wasn't certain what the subject would be exactly.  I just knew that I wanted and needed to write.  I was scrolling through all the pictures I have saved on my phone for something to go with my post and I stumbled across something I saved because it was one of those, "It just makes sense" things.  As I read through it, I knew that I had to include it in my writing.  

So.....here you have it.....

It makes total and compete sense, right?  Does everyone follow each and every one of these?  Absolutely not.  Recently, I have really struggled with number 2 on the list.  In fact, I have always struggled with it.  It is the people that we consider to be important in our lives or rather, in my case, who once were important, that can strike a chord when things are said.  When I read this today, it made me realize that it made more than perfect sense.  So, often, others will say things to hurt us, in an attempt to make themselves feel better. Because of the person I am, I not only take it personally, and let it hurt me, but, I also hurt for the ones saying these things.  I feel horrible knowing that continually knocking me down, makes these people in  my life feel better.  I find it very hard to swallow.  I have tried to rationalize this more than I would like to admit to not only myself, but anyone else.  I, unfortunately, let things bother me, even if it is someone that is not necessarily close to me.  Everyone in my life is important to me, in one aspect or another.  Just as everyone is in my life for one reason or another because I choose them to be a part of my life.  

The other agreements on this list, I give my best effort at living. Yes, I may not always succeed at them but, I give a darn good effort. Yes, I'm guilty at making assumptions at times. I am also very good at asking questions and communicating as best as I know how.  Gosh, I make lots of mistakes and will be the very first to admit it.  Of course, in my life, I have said things that I wish I hadn't.  Looking back, those times were usually said in my own defense when others were intentionally upsetting me.  Over the years, I have learned that words can cut like a knife.  Every hurtful word I've heard, is tucked deep down inside me and for many years, I let those words break off little pieces of my soul. Amazingly, I always get myself up and dust myself off.  What others say will never make me who I am.  I would not be who I am at this very moment as I sit and expose pieces of my soul to the world.  I am the person that I am today from the experiences I have had in my life, the people that I have met, the relationships I've had and the friendships I've built. Sometimes, people are meant to be in our lives for a long time, others, only a short while.  It is all part of this crazy thing we all know called.....life.  

My favorite on the list, that essentially correlates with each of the others, is...

ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST....

Living by always doing my best, is one of the greatest things I have chosen to do throughout my life.  I catch myself telling Emma this very thing, almost on a regular basis.  If you know that you gave everything in your life, your very best effort, you will never wake up wondering if you could have done better.  

The sun is beaming in my window and begging me to get outside!  Enjoy your Sunday!