A Holding Pattern
A holding pattern.
I have been having a great and busy summer so far but, today I had one of those days that I hadn't had in quite a long time. I was feeling irritated with one thing after another and it was bothering me enough that I needed to sit back and think about why I was so edgy and why all on the same day. It was at this moment that I had to remind myself that most but, not all things, bothering me were either things that I just needed to deal with or things that I shouldn't have let get to me in the nature that I allowed them to. I also thought about how very happy I've been and all the positives in my life currently. So, yes, I may feel like I am in a holding pattern in some pretty big areas of my life but, as the old saying goes...."Good things come to those who wait."
I finally completed my class this week and took my board certification exam on Monday! I am very excited and relieved to be finished but, the results of my certification exam just so happen to be one of the things I am waiting for. I will be excitedly checking my mailbox daily for the next few weeks in hopes of finding that envelope that holds a very important key to my next step of beginning a career as a personal trainer. In my waiting time, my mind is spinning with ideas of all of the details. All of the who, what, where, when and how's are yet to be determined. Of course in my mind, I have a perfect little picture of what it would look like. That is where all of the million tiny details begin spinning out of control. Logistics, planning, financials, networking and on and on. Its absolutely exciting and terrifying and a bit overwhelming all at the same time. I just try to envision my future as a trainer and all of the joy and utter fulfillment it will bring me to have the ability to help others do something that is so often hard to make into a lifelong habit....fitness and a healthy lifestyle.
I will be very honest with you by saying that I thought by the time I walked away from this program, that I have worked so very hard at completing and invested so much time and my heart and soul into, that I would feel somewhat more prepared and well versed. Through talking many, many times with a personal trainer that has tons of experience and numerous certifications in the fitness industry, he has reassured me again and again that I will learn and become a better trainer through experience. The more I do it, the better I will become. Well, of course, that makes perfect sense! Just as with anything else...the more you do it, the better you become. I knew that. I just needed to hear it from someone that had one day been there. Even better was to hear it from someone that has been very successful and driven in his career. These conversations of assurance and advice helped to push out any doubt that may have been trying to fight its way into my head. Thank you so very much for answering my silly questions, giving me help when I needed it, sharing resources to use, making me laugh when I felt like crying, reassurance when I felt doubt sneaking in and reminding me when I was most frustrated, that yes, indeed....I was doing this because I love it and the rewards I will reap by helping others. Thank you, thank you and thank you some more! I am forever grateful.
Now, I hope to enjoy the rest of my summer doing things I enjoy and spending time with the people I care about the most. So far, Emma and I have spent lots of fun times at my sister's pool and numerous dinners, both out and in, with family that were full of laughter and creating memories never to be forgotten.
My life is in such a good place right now. I feel happier than I can remember feeling in years. I was just telling my sister the other day that I love the fact that I laugh almost everyday now. And I don't just mean a little giggle here and there. I am talking my most favorite kind of laughter ever....the kind in which I laugh so hard that it is uncontrollable, tears are falling from my eyes and I can hardly breathe. The kind of laughter that everyone around me is doing the same and it seems to be contagious. I love this! Most times it is about something completely ridiculous that I have said or a totally funny thing that has happened. Sometimes this laughter occurs at a restaurant, or outside at my sister's house (Suzy...just think about the night the girls were swimming and we were sitting by the fire pit.) I not only told a story from my childhood but, also unintentionally blew out the fire when my intention was to get it going again. Ironic the story I told happened to involve Girl Scouts. Hilarious. Its obvious I was never a strong outdoors man or outdoors woman, if the term even exists. You catch my drift, I'm sure. My soul is smiling as I think about these times of fun and laughter. I could literally write for hours about all the silly and stupid things we have laughed about lately. I don't even care if the laughter is at my expense. No matter how I look at it, it is fabulous and I can't get enough of it. I will fully admit that just last week, I had been with my sister all evening and after I went home, we were having our routine in which we always say goodnight or whatever via text. Well, it just got crazy funny and I was laying on top of my bed laughing hysterically, out loud and I was the only one home. It was at that moment that I really realized that indeed life is so good and I am so very blessed with each moment and and have so very much to be thankful for.
So, while I was irritated by random things today, when I put it in perspective, my good days far outweigh the not so great days. And as far as the holding pattern....maybe its good for me to just live for the moment and enjoy the summer with my daughter, rather than try to plan my every waking minute of my future. I am glad I took today as a teachable moment for myself instead of letting it get to me. Tomorrow brings a new fresh start and I look forward to enjoying a day relaxing by the pool. No exams to study for or anything to stress about. That sounds like a very simple and wonderful plan but...of course I do have other things I must accomplish. I am absolutely certain I can get those done and enjoy the rest of the day watching my little lady swim and be silly. Most definitely involved in my day will be laughter.
For now...I am tired and ready to put my busy mind to rest for the day.
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