A New Year & A Fresh Start

Happy New Year!  Yes, I am a fully aware that the new year rolled in 12 days ago already.  It is my hope to know that everyone survived the holidays without too much stress and exhaustion.  I hope that you were able to enjoy the moments spent with family and friends, laughing, reminiscing, indulging in holiday treats, relaxing, sacrificing sleep to sit up late talking or watching your favorite Christmas movies and building new memories that you will hold in your heart for years to come.  

This Last year, I am sad to even say this but, I didn't catch the holiday spirit that I normally have.  I usually love the holiday season and haul out every little bit of holiday decor, listen to the Christmas tunes and bake until I can't bake anymore. I tried my best each day to keep my spirits bright. I owed that much to my sweet girl. She was so full of spirit and excitement.  Witnessing this, helped me drum up as much spirit as I could find within myself.  As I sit here thinking of this, my heart sinks.  I just didn't feel myself. Rather than let it get me down, I need to start this new year off full of positivity and with a fresh slate.  I can look back on the past year and learn from mistakes without dwelling on them.  I can see what things in my life were negative and were bringing me down and eliminate them. Just as I can carry the positive bits and pieces ahead with me this year.  

Over the past week, I have been trying to decide what I was going to blog about after my lack of blogging for over a month.  Forgive me.  As busy as the last month has been, looking back, I should have taken the time to blog a few times.  Blogging is one of the things in my life that I do for myself because I enjoy it.  It truly fills my soul.  I spill my thoughts and experiences for all to read.  I mean, come on now, wouldn't that fill your soul?  The funny this is, there are times that I just keep all thoughts and emotion to myself and share nothing. I just carry on acting like I am fine everything is great.  I have learned and am still continuing to learn that this doesn't work very well.  I do much better if I talk through things.  I never want to carry on as someone that I am not.  My reason for acting as everything is wonderful, is simply that I do not like to bother others or ask for help. That is just me.  I absolutely love to help others and always, always will drop everything to be there for anyone when they are in need.  Whether it be a favor asked by family or friends or a shoulder to cry on and an open ear.  It is fulfilling to me to know I helped someone in some way or form.  So why is it so hard for me to go to others and put their open ear to use or cry on their shoulder?  I have yet to learn this.  I have gotten a smidgen better.  I just keep trying.  I would rather be on the helping end.  I am a people pleaser and love to make people happy.  I wake up each day with this purpose in my mind and heart.  Hey, I look at it this way...it could be worse.  Right?  

And the novel continues.  I just wrote a very long intro!  I hope that as you are reading, you are not thinking, "What on Earth is the idea of this post?" As you may know all too well, if you follow my blog, I tend to have much to say. My general idea for this post was going to be about starting the year 2012 on a positive note.  So, I will continue on and try to be a bit more brief.

We are almost 2 weeks into a new year.  What does this mean for you?  Do you set New Year's resolutions?  I have not actually written down my goals and hopes for the new year as of yet. Shame on me.  I have been bouncing the thoughts around in my head.  As so often said, goals tend to be reached more often when written down.  I agree.  If you can see it daily, it will be a constant reminder.  Not only that, as you achieve it, you can cross it off or highlight it or place a shiny star or bright happy face stickers beside it. Whatever your method, make your goals visible.  I am a complete visual person.  I need to see things with my eyes. If you read me something, I still need to see it for myself and read it before I can fully process it.  A visual learner for certain.  I love to write lists and use colorful markers or pens.  I like to cross days off on the calendar and tasks that I have accomplished.  I need to visualize the progress.  Just as whenever I run or exercise, I log the minutes and miles and so on.  Check marks signify progress and moving forward.  

This year, I have some of the same goals that have carried over from years past.  I just would like to work harder at them.  I want to focus on my health and fitness. I am sure you may be thinking, "That is such a stereotypical goal of the new year." That may very well be true.  I think that it is a very positive and achievable goal for anyone. Our health is such an important part of our lives. I am making a commitment to myself to get the gym at the very least, 3 days a week.  I would like to participate in a class at the gym at least once a week. My friend and I went to circuit training on Monday and it was fabulous.  I feel so much better and more energized after working out.  Don't get me wrong, there are most definitely those days that I feel as if I can't get out the door.  I have learned that I never, ever regret exercising.  As someone with lifelong body issues, this is crucial.  If I feel confident about myself, it exudes out into everything in my life.  I am happier with myself.  Along with the fitness, I would like to eat more healthy.  So many things seem to upset my stomach that I so often revert back to my cereal routine.  Well, cereal does not hold all of the nutrition that my body needs.  My anemia diagnosis was a very good example of this.  I was just rechecked and my levels are still low.  Now, I am taking iron tablets, not twice a day but, 3 times a day!  I would like to get back into the routine of meal planning and using as much fresh food as possible.  Last weekend, I went through the pantry and threw away lots of less than healthy items.  I am ready to begin fresh! 

Another goal, or hope rather, for this year is to work on some relationships in my life that have really been causing me trouble and sadness.  I have been working on these for quite a long time.  I get discouraged when I am often left feeling that I put my all into it and am left feeling empty.  I refuse to give up because these are very important to me.  I need to learn new approaches or something.  So many times, I feel as if I am repeating myself when voicing my expectations for these relationships.  I just keep telling myself that, "Maybe things will change.  Maybe these relationships will finally be the kind that I have hoped to be."  I am certain that most people have these same kinds of issues with some people in their lives.  What makes it so frustrating is knowing how short this precious life that we are given really is.  I hate going to bed at night knowing that the issues that continue to eat me up inside, continue and it is not for my lack of trying.  Like my favorite quote says...Never, Never, Never give up! And give up, I will not.  

With a fresh start to the year, comes my need to feel super organized.  I have been feeling the urge to purge.  I need to go through all the "stuff" I have.  Some of it is clothing, some of it is just random things that need to be gone through. What I no longer wear or no longer use, needs to find a new home.  A pile to be given away, put away and organize the things to be kept and the garbage for things that can to go to the dump!  

I do have more goals in my head and I intend to get them written down in the next few days.  I will spare you from having to take an hour to read one single blog post of mine and maybe share them in a future post. In all honesty, I have much more to share.  Does that really surprise you?? I hope that you have at least thought about the hopes and goals that you plan to attain this year.  I encourage you to write them down to provide that daily visual reminder for you to see.  

I must bring this to a close in order to keep to my commitment to attending a class at the gym.  Circuit training, day two, here I come!  

Have a wonderful afternoon!